I’ve made no bones about the fact that I didn’t like Prometheus. Its racist and sexist (and anti-science) overtones were only overshadowed by its bad writing and appalling lack of consistent logic, complete with failure to understand the mechanisms of evolution. Aside from that, it wasn’t scary. The only nice thing I can say about it was that it was pretty. The 3D CGI was lovely (and this from someone who avoids 3D like the plague). The performances were fine, too, I suppose, but even Michael Fassbender’s creepy-as-Hell portrayal of the patricidal android David couldn’t save writing that very nearly explored some serious, important questions of humanity (and android-ity), but ultimately fell flat. This movie had fans leaving the film not just deflated and disappointed, but angry, in a way I’ve never seen before.

I’m not, however, going to go on and on about it, because so many other people have done great writeups on why they thought Prometheus was the saddest prequel since Star Wars episodes 1-3:

“I realized this movie had totally erased women from the entire creation history of humanity. In fact, we were erased from the entire creation mythos of the entire universe.” – Kameron Hurley

“Yeah. The reason the Engineers don’t like us any more is that they made us a Space Jesus, and we broke him. Reader, that’s not me pulling wild ideas out of my arse. That’s RIDLEY SCOTT.” – Adrian Bott (there are a ton of great links at the bottom of this post, if you’re looking for more)

“Musings about the nature of divinity and humanity, history and destiny, are just plain embarrassing when you word them clumsily and put them in the mouths of cardboard characters.” – Caitlin Sweet

“Prometheus is about a scientific expedition, for fuckssake— and while Cameron cared enough about verisimilitude to put his actors through a couple weeks’ basic military training, it’s blindingly obvious that Scott couldn’t be bothered to ensure that his “scientists” knew the difference between a gene and a bad joke.  Much less anything about science as a profession.” – Peter Watts

“Ultimately the biggest problem in Prometheus is that its creators larded too many “meaningful” ideas onto it, instead of just letting the narrative speak for itself.” – Analee Newitz

And now, just to lighten the mood a bit:

The entirety of Prometheus as a .gif (it’s all David’s fault)

Text Q&A with the Engineers doesn’t solve any of the mysteries

I don’t want this blog to become Me Complaining About Stuff I Don’t Like, so I guess I should write a post about something I DO like, here, huh? The trouble is coming up with a theme that can unite all the things I like…so maybe a list of really excellent horror movies? What do you think, dear readers?